Amateur Catholic

We don't write books or do speaking tours.
In fact, we barely do our jobs.
-We're the B-Team of Catholic Bloggers-

This is the home of the Amateur Catholic® bloggers - or as we like to refer to ourselves, the B-team. We don't write books or do speaking tours. In fact, we barely do our jobs. That's not to say we're unambitious though... You see, this coalition is just the second phase our blogoshpere conquest. We suppose you could think of us as amateur crusaders too.

Membership will not bring you any money, perks, notoriety, or prestige - but you will get the privilege of proudly displaying the B-team badge on your blog! Lucky you, huh?

amateurcatholic @

If you are hosting a conference, parish function, or some other event and can not afford the exorbitant fees typically associated with a Professional Catholic®, please contact one of our members. We like to hear ourselves talk just as much as the Professional Catholics® do, we just don't charge you for it. But hey give us a meal, free beer, and a designated driver, and we'll speak about breaking the Da Vinci Code or anything else you might care to hear about.

The B-Team badge is copryright 2006, The B-Team Bloggers®. Of course, we're Amateur Catholics®, so if you use the badge without permission (enrolled membership), we won't hunt you down and make you cough up your hard-earned bucks. Just have fun with it and maybe buy us a beer next time you're in town.

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Saturday, March 18, 2006

Karen Hall: Amateur Catholic

Pick me, pick me!!!

I have just discovered the "B-Team Bloggers" and I want to be one. It's a funny, irreverent (to the Blogosphere), smart-assed idea -- how could I not want to be one? And in the five minutes that I've known about it, I have discerned that it is the will of God. Indeed, I have a B-Team Blogger vocation.

Not convinced, B-Team hierarchy? Here are my qualifications:

(1) I am not a steadfast blogger. I disappear for big chunks of time, sometimes without even giving any warning.

(2) I waffle. I can't figure out whether I'm truly orthodox, or just scared not to be. Sometimes diehard conservatives make me want to throw myself into a vat of gin, other times I want to go live with on a private planet with everyone who follows the Ten Commandments and believes that Noah really built an ark. Because I waffle, my blog is always full of contradictions, as faithful readers love to point out in the comments box -- which, I believe, makes me good B-Team material.

(3) I don't have the patience to proofread; I can't spell; I never update my sidebars; and basically, I can't stand to do anything that bores me, which assures that my blog will never reach A-Team status.

(4) I no longer have time to click around and stay current, so my blog will never announce anything that people haven't heard in four other places before they go there.

(5) I have no angle, unique or otherwise.

(6) I spend way to much time ranting and/or obsessing about Jesuitdom.

(7) I never let my lack of knowledge on a subject keep me from launching into a diatribe on it.

There. I could think of more, but I'm too lazy. Or tired. I'm not sure which. And I don't want to commit to one. I qualify?
Karen Hall, Some Have Hats
You had me at "smart-assed." Talk about fitting in around this place ... just check out the travesty we have made of St. Patrick's Day. Welcome aboard, fellow B-Teamer ... pick up your logo and display it with pride.


At 3/18/2006 8:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

But Karen Hall is a professional writer, right? So how does she qualify? She says that she gives talks on faith and Hollywood and stuff. She seems like a Professional Catholic to me, in the same category as Barbara Nicolosi.

At 3/18/2006 9:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Because I waffle, my blog is always full of contradictions, as faithful readers love to point out in the comments box -- which, I believe, makes me good B-Team material."

Sed contra:

"But we like contradictions in terms. Man is a contradiction in terms; he is a beast whose superiority to other beasts consists in having fallen. That cross is, as you say, an eternal collision; so am I. That is a struggle in stone. Every form of life is a struggle in flesh. The shape of the cross is irrational, just as the shape of the human animal is irrational."
-- Chesterton, The Ball and the Cross

At 3/18/2006 10:46 AM, Blogger Julie D. said...

This is the only background I've ever seen on her:

If there's something about her being a paid speaker on faith then I've missed it. It looks to me as if she is a professional writer who is also Catholic, not a professional Catholic writer.

Unless "Anonymous" is confusing her with her sister, Barbara Hall, whose best known work was Joan of Arcadia?

BTW, using "Anonymous" is not the best way to inspire confidence in one's veracitude when casting doubt on others. Just FYI.

At 3/18/2006 12:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She's on the Act One Faculty. - which involves speaking on matters of faith. She's blogged about speaking about matters of faith and working in Hollywood often in the past.

At 3/18/2006 2:25 PM, Blogger Karen said...

For the record, I have never taken money for speaking -- on matters of faith or any other matters. Act One pays me and I give them check back to them. Except for the one I just discovered in a pile of unopened mail -- it's about a year old. Which should certainly bode well for my amateur status. Also, when I speak on "matters of faith", the only one on which I'm an authority is the process of converting from myself from agnosticism to Catholicism while writing my novel, which the reviewer for Entertainment Weekly referred to as "Blasphemous Twaddle." I rest my case.

At 3/18/2006 2:27 PM, Blogger Karen said...

That should be "THE check back to them." She said, amateurishly.

At 3/18/2006 3:05 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Then again... since my book had a Catholic protagonist and ended up being full of Catholic themes and such, and since I WAS paid for writing it, I guess that counts as being paid as a Catholic writer. RATS! I don't suppose I could be a professional amateur? Or would that be an amateur professional? Oh well. I'll add you guys to the list of organizations I love and can't belong to.

At 3/18/2006 3:21 PM, Blogger Rick Lugari said...

No worry, Karen.

We can discern the difference between a professional who is Catholic and a Professional Catholic®. Besides this is all just for fun.

Well, it's supposed to be. What kind of commentary is that people are going our of their way to belittle their existence? Even to the point of debating the merits of their unworthiness...

Too funny. Amateurs!

At 3/18/2006 4:09 PM, Blogger Karen said...

I am not worthy! No wait, maybe I'm TOO worthy? Or am I not worthy of being unworthy? I can't keep up.

At 3/18/2006 4:44 PM, Blogger Rick Lugari said...


And to think someone has gone out of their way to claim that you are unworthy/too worthy for the B-Team.

They must have a higher opinion of you than you do. Go figure. Either that or you have an enemy who just doesn't want to see you have fun.

At 3/20/2006 12:10 AM, Blogger Darwin said...

Sometimes diehard conservatives make me want to throw myself into a vat of gin,

I could be accused of beind a diehard conservative in some sense of the term, and jumping in a vat of gin sounds like a great idea. Let me go grab my olive and you lead the way towards the nearest pool of Bombay Saphire.

At 3/20/2006 2:34 PM, Blogger Karen said...

As much as she frequently makes me want to dive into a vat of gin from the opposite direction, I am indebted to Anne Lamott for ""this is the kind of thing that makes Jesus want to go lap gin out of the cat bowl." ... from which I'm sure my brain got that image. And line after which I would have retired.

I am plentyconservative, until people start badgering me about my desire to depict reality when I write fiction.

Frankly -- full disclosure -- I'd dive into a vat of gin with very little provocation.


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