"I read the news today, oh boy..."

• "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four?" Paul McCartney reached that point in his life yesterday. In light of the unfortunate breakup of his second marriage, a question that has lingered for nearly four decades has been answered. But at least he isn't losing his hair. He was my favorite Beatle, by the way. (Various)

• In Rochester, New York, a man tried to hold up an auto-parts store. Two employees managed to overpower him, and beat him with a metal pipe. The man pleaded guilty to robbery. Now he's suing the auto-parts store. (AP)

• In Tampa, Florida, two opposing attorneys could not seem to agree on various minutiae, such as a location for taking the sworn statement of a witness in an insurance case. A federal judge had enough of the delays, and ordered them to appear together to settle the matter once and for all with... a round of "rock, paper, scissors." (AP)

• A young girl from Plymouth, England boarding a plane was stopped, when it was discovered she was carrying a gun in her luggage. The model in question was a pink Bugs Bunny water pistol filled with candy. Despite her protests, the implement of destruction was registered at the airport firearms desk, tagged and packed separately. (Washington Post Express)

• A bookstore in Melbourne, Australia, attempted to enter the Guinness Book of World Records yesterday, through an effort to assemble the largest collection of unwanted copies of... Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code." (Washington Post Express)

(This sort of nonsense is a regular feature at man with black hat.)