Welcome To.....
...our brothers and sisters in Christ who share an imperfect union with us from the Catholic Reformation Message Board! Apparently, our posters haven't said "Jesus" enough in the postings of introductions to pass the anti-Catholic sniff test of "Christianity". Allow me to take this moment to rectify the situation.
We didn't say "Jesus" enough? Saying "Jesus" a whole bunch is what makes you a good Christian? Great! I've got just the thing for you! It's a little something we call "The Rosary".
With the Rosary, the name of Jesus is said fifty-four times! But wait...there's more! The Rosary also lets you refer to God as "the Father" thirteen times more on top of the references to Jesus! You will also receive seven additional mentions of "the Son" and "the Holy Ghost" each! That's a whopping eighty-one references to the Divine Persons of the Trinity. Can it get better than that?
Why yes, Tom, it can!
The first 1000000000 callers also get to say the "Fatima prayer" -- that's an extra five times to say Jesus!
Order now (before you spend eternity in hell!)
3 Comments:
And don't forget all those references to "Lord" and "God".
And there are enough references to "sinners" to make any "reformed" Christian feel "wretched" wallowing in their Original Sin.
Not only that, but you live, as it were, through YOUR OWN CHOICE of any selection you care to make of twenty (count 'em, Two Zero) mysteries drawn right from the New Testament! That's right, folks, use your own imagination - or peruse the sacred text itself - thinking carefully on these events in our Lord's birth, life, death, and triumph, as you murmur the ostinato originally spoken by an angel...
You don't even need a credit card! Hey - you don't even need a rosary - ten fingers is standard on most human bodies -
(What? I'm reading from the wrong script again? Sorry...)
(walks quietly out of the sound booth, mumbling "Hail Holy Queen, Mother of mercy...")
*wipes tears from eyes* i havent laughed that hard since yesterday...
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